2.19.2016 – Trying Thankfulness

I’m convinced that if you can survive life with me, you can survive anything. But I flatter myself. Wishing I was somewhere else today…

Sometimes I think I panic because I’m afraid I’m too much for people. I’ve been told all my life that I’m too much, that I need to calm down, that for heaven’s sake I should just let life be and not worry about it. Yeah clearly that isn’t working. And frankly, sometimes when I’m trying to make things better, I over-correct and pretend that everything is perfect even when its not.So I’m going to try something else today.

I’m going to try to be thankful, not for things that WILL happen (because I’m ALWAYS thinking about the future) but things that HAVE happened. Things from God that mean He’s in control and that He actually cares. Because let’s be honest, sometimes that’s hard to believe.

#1 I’m thankful that my church family has been there for me since I’ve been back from Guatemala

#2 I’m thankful that my team is always there for me. No. Matter. What.

#3 I’m thankful that God doesn’t leave me when I loose Him. Which I do. A lot.

I think that’s been a big theme for me this week. God not leaving me. The longer I’m in the States the more I feel like I need other people or other things and I get stressed out and panicky. I’m paranoid that God is going to leave me. But that’s not how this works, my friends, he doesn’t leave us. Not ever.

That’s the promise that I’m holding onto tonight in the midst of the craziness and the anxiety. and thank God its the weekend.

#4 I’m thankful for the weekend

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