My sister asked me to take her senior pictures and last Tuesday we headed out to the lakes and trails surrounding our small school to see what we could see and snap some great shots. Problem was, there wasn’t a whole lot to see. So we decided we’d take some shots at an ice cream parlor instead. Best decision of my life. The pictures turned out great and were so cute.
As you can see, my sister looks fabulous. So I posted her picture on Instagram as any good sister would do. Instantly my notifications were all over the place.
The next day in class, I was joking around with one of my classmates about how her picture had gotten more likes than any of my other posts. It was a silly comment but my classmate just looked at me and said, “Well that’s cause she’s pretty”
All week I’ve been dealing with feelings of being less than others. I couldn’t seem to get to class on time. I managed to forget to show up for work because of a choir concert in which I nearly got yelled at for being so distracted. Professors seem to be upset with me lately and I can’t, for the life of me sing my solo in the musical right.
My director of the spring musical marched up to me on Thursdays rehearsal and shouted , “Sarah! Just be vulnerable and own it!”
So I did.
So often I find myself hiding behind excuses. “I’m not pretty enough.” “I’m not smart enough.” “I’m not prepared enough.” Or my personal favorite that I nearly shouted in rehearsal: “If you wanted someone who could do everything you’re asking me to do than you should have cast somebody else!”
But the reality is that my vunerability is what allows me to open up. When I hide behind a false courage it shuts me down. The correct answer is not: “I can’t. do what I’m being asked to do.” The correct answer is: “I am scared but I can do it.”
I’m insecure but I am pretty.
I’m exhausted but I am capable.
I’m unprepared but I’m intelligent.
I’m not a great vocalist but I can kill this song.
I’m scared but I can do it. With God’s strength, I can do it.